I used to imagine hurting myself to get out of high-pressure situations.

I remember crying in the shower when I was 12 or 13.. my premier soccer team had just won the semi-finals and was moving onto the championships.

I should have been excited! I should have been happy and proud to be a part of that team.

But instead I was SO anxious about the game, worrying about whether I’d be good enough and imagining mistakes I didn’t want to make.

I wondered what it would be like if I just slipped in the shower and broke my arm or leg.

“Then I wouldn’t have to play! I would be free of all this stress & pressure” I thought.

These thoughts continued as I got older and as I continued to not handle my anxiety or emotions.

At 21 I got pulled from a University volleyball game because we were losing. No feedback from the coach – no idea if they were just trying to mix it up or if they thought it was my fault.

My mind started spiralling. I started feeling more anxiety and worthlessness.

That night when I got home, no one was around I broke down in sobs and began punching a wall.

I punched until I couldn’t anymore. My knuckles were chipped, swollen and bruised.

I told everyone I slipped on ice because I was too afraid to tell the truth.😔

If you’re struggling like I was – you’re not alone!
 
I just created a free Case Study on how I went from anxiety, limiting beliefs and trauma to living out my dreams and I’d love to share it with you.
 
You can click the button below to access it now if you’d like. 😊
 
Mental health MATTERS!! Don’t be afraid to open up, to make a change or to ask for help. 💕

 

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